Steppin' It Up A Notch

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Posted by Phil at 9:53 AM 0 comments  

As my life progresses, I can't help but feel a bit like an alien. What I mean is that it seems everywhere I go/have gone, it's like I'm just passing through and I don't really fit in. I don't know if I've ever felt like I belonged. Is this normal? Maybe life is just a series of "passing through"s? Will I ever find a place where I belong? A few months ago, I came to the realization that I really don't belong here, but also that no matter where I go in this world, I won't belong there either and it's because deep down, my spirit knows that I belong in heaven with my Lord Jesus; even so, for whatever reason, that offers me no comfort now.

Posted by Phil at 5:32 PM 1 comments  

So, this blog post is supposed to automatically upload to facebook, but my last 4 blog posts have not automatically posted. So we will see what happens this time around.

Posted by Phil at 10:49 PM 0 comments  

I slept in today. It has been quite a while since I have done that, a very long while. It was almost 10 when I got up. I remember last week sometime, don't remember which day, it was probably Sunday, or maybe it was 2 Saturdays ago, well it was a day I didn't have to work, anyways I got up thinking it was probably pretty late (ie. after 9) and that I should be up getting ready to do whatever and when I looked at the clock it was 7:30! So today when I got out of bed, I expected it to be similar because it felt the same.

Posted by Phil at 1:35 PM 0 comments  

Posted by Phil at 7:27 AM 0 comments  

How about a BBQ burger? And BBQ chicken! And BBQ Pork Chop! All with rice :) It rained today, but not enough, we need more rain. Now we can tell that it's spring, the flowers are starting to grow, the trees are budding and the grass is green, no longer brown! The sun was out for the better part of the day so I decided to throw some meat on the BBQ for dinner. There was no wind, or at least very little when I lit the BBQ and the sky above me was clear. 10 minutes later, the wind whipped up, blew the fire out and it started to rain very lightly. As I'm relighting the BBQ, my roommate Andrew comes home and says "Philip! Crazy chinaman... BBQing in the rain!" Well it wasn't raining when I started, lol.

Posted by Phil at 8:14 PM 0 comments  

Well, I pulled out the bike today and completed the first ride of the season/training day for the Ride to Conquer Cancer. It was not a very pleasant day for riding but I had to do it. High of +1C and winds up to 60km/hr. I rode from my house to the University, where I stopped to check out my friend's group project for his computer engineering course. Then I rode home again, but took a different route to stretch out the total distance travelled, which ended up being about 16 kms. The ride to the University had an uphill, but the trip back was harder because I was riding into the wind. I made up a tentative training schedule for myself last night and it will be quite intense, no easing into it. I'm hoping to do 3 days of riding per week with increasing distances each week. Once I get into May, I think I'll have trouble finding the time to ride the distances I am wanting to. Here's hoping I figure something out! Hmm, I should probably do weight training on the off days.... Another thing I'm wondering, should I implement some kind of dietary program to go along with this training? Can't say I've ever watched my diet; I normally eat whatever I want when I want. Oh well, something to think about another day!

Posted by Phil at 9:40 PM 0 comments  

Posted by Phil at 6:23 PM 0 comments  

Hooray, as of today I have officially completed my power engineering practicum at the Glenrose Hospital! So in that sense the craziness has ended, but I still have 5 more days before I really get a day off as I am going to work at my paying job this week. I actually managed to knock a week off the "no day off" marathon by doing some extra shifts and I am glad I did otherwise I'd still have another week to go. The last 3 weeks have been rough, my studying has gone down the crapshoot, I got sick just over a week ago (my attempt to fight it was interesting to say the least, I will tell you the story if you ask me) and there were quite a few days that I did not sleep well, oh yea and I got in a car accident with a city bus 3 weeks ago. I will definitely not be doing something like this again ever... if it ever comes up, somebody please smack me upside the head. I definitely did not do this on my own strength, I have no doubt that God was with me all the way; I can barely remember most days of the past 6 weeks, but I do know that everyday that I can remember waking up and praying for God to help me get through the day.

Posted by Phil at 8:16 PM 0 comments  

Day 13 of craziness... This week has been tiring, there were a couple of days last week that I went to bed too late and that came back to bite me this week. I know that I definitely have to rely on God to give me strength because I am pushing the limits of my own abilities. There is no way I am going to get through the next 5 weeks without His help. I am learning to hand over control of every aspect of my life to Him. It's strange because out of necessity, I am wanting to do so. Only 36 more days to go.

Posted by Phil at 6:55 PM 0 comments  

Well if I didn't have much of a social life before, I definitely won't have one for the next 2 months. It looks like I will have the opportunity to start working as a licenced power engineer in April provided I can get all of my work experience hours and pass the provincial exam beforehand. In order to do so, I must work everyday for the next 2 months. I will have my 2 days of paid work and the rest of the week at the Glenrose Hospital volunteering to get my hours. Add on top of that studying for the provincial licencing exam and I pretty much have the equivalent of 2 full-time jobs, if not more. Yes, I must be crazy.

Posted by Phil at 6:41 PM 0 comments  

Well, it looks like it’s time once again for my year-end reflections. I was actually going to write this about 2 months ago after I had celebrated my 10^th spiritual birthday. Well maybe celebrate isn’t the right word since I really didn’t do any celebrating; it was more of a time of reflection. It is hard to believe that 10 years has gone by since I found new life in Christ. As I look back over the years, I am ever so thankful for God’s mercy and grace and His unfailing faithfulness. I am especially thankful for His presence and guiding hand in the last few years as they have been tough ones; For a while, I know I really wasn’t actively pursuing God and as I wandered through the deserts and stormy seas of life, battled lonely and discouraging times, He was still there patiently waiting for me.

The year that was 2009; church and spiritual growth.

2009 was a blessing and a year of tremendous growth. I started attending a different church right at the end of 2008 because I really needed a fresh start, a new perspective not only in my walk with God but also on church. I had been in a place where I felt like I was no longer wanted; that was a shock to the system, I didn’t expect that, I had nothing to prepare me for it and it confused and discouraged me. I felt like I was wandering alone lost in a forest and nobody came looking for me. I know I probably could have done something to make things better but as is often the case in those dark times, one needs to be reached out to and given a light to follow; unfortunately there was none there.

So I found myself in a new place and even though there was going to be an undetermined time of transition, I thought I’d give it a try. After only a few months, I found myself signing up to go on a mission trip with the church. I was still very new and getting to know people but the fire to do overseas missions that God had birthed in me through eMi still burned. Boy was I in for quite a ride. God really solidified my faith in His providence as I really had no idea how I was going to get the money to go on the trip. In the end God provided through a friend who had money he wanted to put into something meaningful, tangible and that would be a blessing to others. The amount that he had was almost exactly my cost for the trip.

God also had a mighty work to do in my heart. Probably the hardest thing I learned was to forgive. About 3 months before the trip, I was forced to look back over my life in the last two and a half years and it was not easy. But it was time for me to deal with the hurts of feeling judged and unwanted, and to forgive and move forward. I had reaped a lot of negativity and discouragement over those two and a half years and it really wasn’t healthy. But I have discovered what I consider to be a glimmer of blessing through it all; as my world had been shaken up, it caused me to seriously question everything that I thought I knew, that I thought was real and that I thought was true. I still find myself asking the question, “What if everything you thought was true, isn’t?” I do not have an answer for that question but it challenges me and my faith because it causes me to really think things through instead of just accepting it.

In the four months leading up to the trip, I also learned to trust God more and also to trust people again. I had lost a lot of faith in people and unfortunately mostly in the people of God and their ability to show care and compassion.

Also before the trip, God led me back to a ministry I had been involved in before, but I had allowed the words of some people in my family and spiritual leaders to speak too loudly in my life and so I lost the passion to be involved. Not only did God reignite the passion I had for ministering to homeless people, He also got some of my friends involved and it has been a joy to see the passion they now have for it too.

Mission trip.

I really didn’t know what to expect on this trip; all I can say is that leading up to it, I felt that God was preparing me for something big. I really can’t say whether or not this “big” thing occurred. I mean, when I think of something big, I tend to think something spectacular or some great revelation. I would have to say nothing of that sort occurred. So what did happen? Well, we went down to Mexico with Hungry for Life for a build project in Rio Chico. At the base camp there, we did a lot of painting, some helped put in windows, and we did more painting, oh did I mention we painted? At times, some of the painting seemed like a futile endeavour as we painted non-smooth rocks (I think only those who were there can truly appreciate and understand what I mean). So we really didn’t do anything spectacular or any profound work but God reminded me that our role there was to be enablers; the simple and sometimes tedious work that we did freed up man-hours for Pastor Tomas and his workers so that they could concentrate on doing things to further their ministry to the native Indians living in the mountains. The work we did also helped make the base camp look beautiful.

I really enjoyed the devotional times we had. I was encouraged as Phil Yee presented his heart and desires to see each of us grow in our walks with God. Each day, what we talked about was relevant to me as it was something I was seeking for in my own walk and it made me happy knowing that there was someone else wanting to see others pursue the same things. God also reminded me of His great love for me. Across the road from the base camp, on the top of a hill, there was a cross. We climbed up the hill on the first and last days. In between those days, God stuck a song in my head, it was actually two different songs but at the time I had the words from both going and I thought they were the same. Both are by Third Day, the main song I had stuck in my head was Love Song; the second was I’ve Always Loved You. God used that to remind me that it is His love that carries me through everything, and provides the healing for my heart.

God also greatly encouraged me through Pastor Tomas’ testimony of how he started his ministry. Following in the footsteps of Christ, he ministers to those often overlooked by society and most in need of basic necessities. It’s so simple to do, anybody can do it.

An experiment in community living.

In July, me and my friends Andrew and Jimi had a discussion about community. I had already been increasingly dissatisfied with the prospect of “living the American dream”. It just seems like that’s what everyone does even if they don’t realize it. As I looked ahead to what life should bring my way in the next few years, I wondered if it’s possible to do things differently. Me and Andrew had, a couple years back when we were roommates, joked about each of us buying one half of the same duplex and living next to each other later on in life. Back when we first moved in together, we had the opportunity to get a glimpse of true community living as we had moved into a basement that wasn’t quite ready and we had to share a room as it was the only livable space available. Eventually we started to share a lot of our stuff too. Anyways, at the end of July, Andrew moved in with me again and Jimi came in October. The 3 of us currently share a room and I guess the goal is to see how far we can take community living. One thing we have already learned, community living doesn’t work well with a married couple. This is obviously because they don’t buy into our concept of community living; we will have to wait to see if it will even work with a couple that does buy into it, but I have no idea when/if that will happen. I think our other roommate Ben has pretty much bought into our concept of community living.

Career

Well, I’ve finally finished my 4^th Class power engineering course I have been taking. I know that at times I slacked and could have finished much sooner but it’s all done now. In a little more than a week I will be writing the first of 2 provincial licencing exams. I am currently getting my work experience hours at the Glenrose Hospital’s power plant on a volunteer basis but that’s better than nothing. I have to finish all my hours, which should be in April, before I can write the 2^nd exam and get my ticket. So things are starting to fall into place. Having done the 4^th Class course through correspondence, I’m quite certain I don’t want to do another course through correspondence again. I know that I need to get to at least a 3^rd Class ticket so I’m currently thinking that I will probably go back to school for real come next fall.

So that’s all for 2009, now onto 2010, time sure goes by quickly. I was just looking on tsn.ca and noticed the countdown timer for the Olympics, that’s only 41 days away, crazy! Anyways, other than going back to school next fall, plans for 2010 include going back to Mexico and that’s pretty much it. Not much on the radar for now but I’m sure there’s plenty of adventure in store!

Posted by Phil at 7:52 PM 1 comments